My heart is truly breaking at this moment. The words are so hard to find. What can I say. There is so much I could reflect on, past and present, that got us to where we are right now. But nothing, just nothing can change the fact that in the next week or two at the most, I will be saying goodbye to her.
Si’Ann has cancer…. it is that simple and that hard. This morning the vet told me what I already knew, there was no hope.
There was treatments that would be painful and only prolong her life, but none of it would save her. She has a “mixed sarcoid”, “verrucous sarcoid” and “malignant sarcoid” on the left nostril. It is inoperable where it is and vets usually will not operate on sarcoids as they become super aggressive when messed with. This sarcoid on her muzzle is not just what you see outside, it is massive in the nasal cavity as well. It is about the size of a golf ball and a half and has taken just 3 months to progress to the point it has.
There is a vast wealth of information on this link with this group in the United Kingdom. http://www.liv.ac.uk/sarcoids/
Would like to say a massive “I appreciate your friendship” to those that have been there through the last week or so, have listened to me talk and process what I was sure was happening, what would need to happen and just be there for me for a good cry and a hug.
Dianna and Dani for coming with me to the vets this morning, Rebecca for the massive chats over the last couple of days even tho your own family load is massive (;-P)
My Mum Lesley who had a good cry and chat with me this morning.
My other friends you know who you are, I have contacted you all before I have put this up, so you know how much you mean to me.
I love you all.. please think of Si’Ann and I as we come to the end of her journey over the next week or two. She has led a rich life which was well deserved after the rough start she had. But while the ending is bittersweet, it is no less then she deserves as their is no better place to be than with the goddess, if she cant be with me.